My First Date with KGB

Asking her Out.. The 15 minutes conversation
November 28 2005

The day has finally come to gather all my courageous energy and talk with a long long crush of mine. It was a normal morning and i decided to talk to KGB as for start of some beginning. The whole day was more like a bunch of imaginations and not advisable ideas. A friend of mine RJ tagged along with me in the Ateneo Fiesta. I was looking for KGB and whenever i felt her presence, i get petrified and disappear in the busy streets of Ateneo. It was more of torpe day for me.

8:15 PM
Finally, the time came when she was all alone with my very adorable friend "Fe." I followed them and kinda of intentioned accident of interception. KGB went into the toilet and Fe was left outside. I approached Fe and it was pretty obvious that I was going to talk with KGB that moment. The moment came when she left the toilet and went to Fe. I was hidden from KGB's sight until she reaches 1 meter away from Fe. I was hidden in the hallway's thick post. I was bowing down looking at the narrowed hallway between NCB and College building. I was looking in the different direction but I was concerned of the girl in red approaching Fe. She was so shocked when she saw me inches away from them. Fe told me to say "hi" but i blew it away by saying "Hi...! Shit! ang torpe ko talga!!" They laughed and we walked along the hallway of the College building. Usap kame while walking. The hallway was like 40-50 meters long. In that part, I asked her out to watch Harry potter 4 which was 1% of my intention of that day. She said a big ............. "Yes" then i was so shocked! omg! wth? she's going out with me? She asked "when?" and i replied "tomorrow, 12:30PM... kung ok lang mga 11:30AM para isabay na ang lunch." She paused for a while and thought about it. Time like was so slow that i could see her lips instead of hearing her saying "yes." Yea, time really stops that moment, but big fish was right, after that, time really was like fastforwarding.

KGB and I were completely strangers before this moment. We knew a lil bit of each other through text but it was the first conversation. It was more of a 5 minute "first" conversation plus asking her out. A miracle of "yes!" was the answer. I,being so amused by what had happened, I gave some appointment on the next day knowing that i had some job to do at that time.. LOL!!! For a minute there, I forgot i had a LAN party to fix!! Bedtime came and i couldnt sleep. I thought about so much stuff about the next day and it reached me till 3:30 AM; I wokeup at 6 AM. The date plus the party really blew my mind during that time.



November 29 2005
"The Date"

The date was carefully analyzed by me and my friend marc.

Plan A
KGB would go alone and date with me only. a 1-1 conversation the entire date.

Plan B
KGB would bring a friend along since im a total stranger to him. More harder to talk to KGB because of her friend coming along. Her friend would have to be treated in lunch to came and the movie house. meaning, More expenses.

During lunch:
KGB will be shy in ordering so im advised to decide on what to order.



11:20 AM:
I texted KGB where she is currently. She replied and said "in the jeepney"

11:30 AM:
I bought a simpe red rose worth Php 25.00 )just something to give that day) and put inside my bag.

11:40 AM:
I stayed near the gate in case I saw her. When she came, I went out, cross the street. She crossed the street and then i crossed the street again. She didnt saw me in that case. I talked to her and said with confidence "hi!" Sabi nya: "OK lang ba kung hanapin ko muna kasama ko?" sabi ko: "hmmm... ok!" We went inside the school and i told myself that this would be the hard Plan B.
She went to the Scholarship's booth and looked for some of her friends. She couldnt find any of them and then she said: "Whatever! ako na lang!" Her friends didnt want to come along just to tease her.

11:45 AM:

We went off to Mindpro. It was bright and hot weather. But my eyes were more dazzled by the beauty of the lady im dating. She was blooming like a hana during its season. She was So so so way beautiful than I imagined. We walked so fast but deep in my mind was like a bullet time. She has this long shiny her and cutey smile. As we crossed from Mc do to mindpro, i asked her: "Im still wondering why you said yes kagabi.." She said something i cant hear because of the loud traffic. We were around 7 meters. when...

------------------------> Embarrassing moments <---------------------------
A gay happends to pass by and said to me. "Ang gwapo mo!!" Sabi ko "Thank you!"
KGB laughed by herself as that happend. Gosh! deep in my mind said, OMG!! ano to? ngayon pa talga?
To let myself out of shame, i told her na parati naming naXXP ni marc duran nung HS kame. I was passing the shame to my friend Marc!! ROFL!!!. sorry marc.. peace :D

------------------------> Embarrassing moments <---------------------------
At last.. i felt breeze of the cold air from the mall. we reached the entrance and i open my bag for check-up. The Security guard had this good natured smile aimed to me because he saw the rose inside my bag. I smiled back and said: "thank you nong!"
(oh yeah!! What a relief! first the gay then here comes the guard teasing me)


11:50-12:00
I decided mag-greenwich na lang coz alam ko di sia makadecide. I asked her what she likes to eat. sabi nya: "kahit ano na lang.. kaw na bahala.." sabi ko: "ok.. isang chicken w/ rice plus caffe latte... ok ba yon?" sabi nya: " umm... umm... yong hindi masyado heavy.." i said: " ok .. ( i was suggesting other kinds of orders).... ok na ba yon?" she said: " hmmm....(she looks like she doesnt know what she wants) kaw na bahala.." I said: " ok 1 chicken w/ rice plus caffe latte." She left and looked for vacant tables. The chicken was fast but we have to wait for the latte for 5 mins. I served the chicken tapos we were about to eat. Sabi ko: "Nagdadasal ka ba?" she said: "yea.. (blah blah.. i cant remember what she said)" She stood up and went to wash her hands. As she stood up her hanky fell unknowingly, some stranger said: "yong handky nahulog" i picked it up and placed it near my seat. Di nya namalayan yon. While washing, i went to get the latte. We went back, i returned her handky.. sabi ko: "handky mo oh.. nahulog" sabi nya: "oh.. ty" sabi ko: "parang scripted noh" sabi nya: " yea.. parang scripted (jokingly)... " (why the hell did i said that????)


12:00-12:40 Approximately
The next part were conversations about her.. likes, dislikes, family and etc..

A summary of some important conversation w/c may lead to my destiny of our relationship. I asked her about some XPs in the past in love life and she usually say things w/c i dont understand. She dont want to share it but this is what i get from the tiny details.

"In her high school days, she was confused in relationships. Boys would end up a slap on their faces when they court her. She usually sends this negative signals w/c lowers the morale of the boys and leave her alone forever."

Pretty cool ha? quite a sadists i say.. (she agreed).. i laughed at this details but i know this is quite true to her personality.

12:40 onwards.
We went to the movie and I was pretty silent.

------------------------------------> Guilty moments <---------------------------
(I already watched HP4.) She said she was goint to the toilet and i wanted to escort her out. She said: "Its ok.. wag na.. ako na lang.." Deep inside of my heart was the desire to escort her but i failed. I kinda think that she'll ran away and nvr return.. lol.. but she went back!! yea!.. the point is. I felt guilty by not becoming a gentlemen.. (morality from father moga.. bwahaha))

------------------------------------> Embarrassing moments <------------------------
HP was near ending when suddenly a familiar voice was clinging into my ear. I suddenly felt that my mother was behind our seat w/ my sister. i said to myself: OMG!!!!!!!!! WTH should i do?. I slowly told her that my mom was at the back. She asked if my mom knows and i said NO. I knew that time i made her insecure considering it was a first date. I was thinking of some best actions not to make her fully insecure. When HP was finished, she wanted to go out already and doesnt want to watch the start again.. My mom and my sis, existed the rows going left to find other good seats and we existed to the right.. Thank God it was dark!!!

We left and she went to the toilet. I saw my cousin ricky and saw we were together.. i said: "My date!" i think i made her more insecure by that.. oh well.. it was better to go out of the movies now.

When we were going to school, i asked her if she can date me again. She was more of a state of shock and doesnt want to reply either "yes", "no" or "ewan" .. she said next next next year.. i didnt want to expound on that but i knew it was time to depart..

oh well.. tats the end of my story.. someone proofread this.. grammatical errors are rampant ...



typed in :12:00AM - 2:26 AM of November 30, 2005


I couldnt sleep!!


*Edited: 11:16PM of March 8 2006

Dilemma: Idealism and Reality... Betrayal.

When I was young, my parents mold me to be someone who is righteous and ideal. I seemed so heroic and I carried the teachings of being a Filipino. And my parents made me this way and that is who I am.

Over this college years i seemed to gotten of the issue that we are in a reality. My parents always say that i should have been a nurse, but i simply dont like blood. No, it isnt blood that i feared in that course. It is was the not liking for me to survive in this world which aims money. I hate it! i always hate it! i always hate it when my parents talk about money. I spent money but i am thrifty. I can give all the money i have. I don't treasure money. I hate people who treasure money. I hate them. I hate my parents. Because of money, everything changed. When we have less money, we had a very happy life. I wish we never had much. I wish I could turn back time when we were so happy.

why cant my stubborn parents accept the path I chose? why do they interfere with my life with false hope? why are many people discouraging me to have my own dreams? why are my parents those people!? i hate them! i have been a silent type, and silent rivers run deep. I LOATHE them! Why can't they let me dream like when they let my bro to the PMA? Why? they really are stupid people. They are killing the youth's dream of becoming someone who is impossible. Before I can dream of being a super hero, now whenever i dream of becoming even a successful person, they don't believe. I'll show them. They really don't understand. I am slowly suffering from psychological and emotional problems. They don't know. Because they really don't see it.

Hope someday we can really live a happy family.

P.S. I HATE the nursing course like I hate them.

We Filipinos lack pride for our country. Pride for our country and future is right. Not pride for ourselves which most have. No matter what it takes, i think I can serve my country by following my dreams. Someday, ill prove to them that what they are thinking is wrong. They are too much eaten by society and i believe i just have to save them from this world.

New Year's Solution?

It is now a prosperous new year. But it is sad to hear about the tidal wave in the southeast asia region. 150000 is a big number. i can't imagine if it were my country, perhaps i would have died too.

Well, I thought new year was full of solution but it is somehow the opposite. right now, i am torn with two choices, to be content in my life or go to a place "No man's land." Thinking of it makes me sick. I still don't know if i can decide my future. This choice i will make will determine who i am in the future. Will I be the courageous one? or Will I be the silent man? People say that there will come in life that a person will choose to who he will be in the future. I think, right now, i am in the middle of the crossroad. will i turn back? or will I choose the content and simple life? or will I choose to know what is "life."

Many are called, but few are chosen.

God, help me to find who I really am. Let me find what I must be in your will.

Long Lost Friend

During my vacation going for third year highschool, the most difficult year that in my school will ever experience, I met someone through the phone. She has this soft and sincere voice that made you feel so comfortable and so warmth. It was not her voice that was trully amusing but her personality. She was completely fantastic! I usually don't get phonepals or friend someone through the phone but the when she called for the very first time in May, I felt the urge of knowing that person more. We then continued our chat for around 3-5 months. I didn't see her or "eyeball" or something. But One friend of mine said that she was completely beautiful. I don't know if il believe it but there was a time that my older brother have somehow met her in a shopping store. My brother said that she was beautiful. When I ask my phonepal if she was at that store, she said yes. It was great. But, somehow there were still misunderstandings. In the end, somehow I misunderstood her and thought some selfish things. I ended the phonepal thing and I haven't heard anything from her ever since. The last thing I knew was she went to Baguio.

Somehow, I believe that we will meet someday. She's out there somewhere. And If ever I will have the chance meet her, I'll have to say that Im so thankful for meeting her. It was one of a heaven experience..... A long lost friend.

10 Things I want to do before I die!!

10.) go to bermuda triangle
9.) make love
8.) build a telescope
7.) have an earring
6.) plant many roses
5.) be a master of flash
4.) be linguistic in computer languages.
3.) kiss a girl
2.) Fall in love or have a relationship
1.) be a hero before 40 Years old.

Everything has changed... When I entered college... everything changed... the people I used to know were different people. I think college is the time were you realized some spice of life. Why did everything happened so fast? I remember the things I left were just in a stationary place, but when I looked back, everything is gone. Right now, everything is a test. This is a time were I have to exert effort to survive. This is the time were everyone gets serious. Right now, I am in the storm. Everything Is a disaster. I hope that when I can make through this storm. This will make me a better man. Everything is at stake, pride, love and life. I have given up my love for her to survive, i have given pride for my bests friends to be happy and now i have to give up life for everyone around me.

Memories, I remember them... Forever Cherished

It has been one year and two days that a very unforgettable moments suddenly was put into my diary of experience. A traumatic feeling was felt during that time. I remembered that it was a special evening. We were having fun with my new friends or barkadas that night. When suddenly, I received a letter from someone. That letter was a menace. I knew it was something bad, something that I could be never forgetten in the future. I knew that it would have a deep impact in my life and make me stumble down every stairs in my life. I knew what was in the letter before I opened it. That letter, those simple words changed the course of my life. I knew, that It would be the end of me and the girl I thought for my life. I knew this girl were having second thoughts, because of a new good looking guy in town started courting her. I can't imagine that a girl like her would sacrifice our 3 years of happy and glorious relationship with a 1 month guy courting her. I thought it was that guy.

Three weeks later, the girl answered the guy. It just proves that what she said in the letter that time was all useless. Just a waste of perfectly writing and a good ink. It was obviously their fault. About six months later they broke up.

In the past, It thought that the girl which was so special to me will be the most perfect gift in my life. I always thought... it was better because I didn't believe. Well, I thank God for losing her. Because if i didn't I would have not gone this far.. this blogsite. I was blinded when I was with her. Now, what I see in my life is vivid. I loved that girl! but sometimes... maybe they just have to go. In my case, I didn't let go. I just made time solve it all. I knew, that girl was never meant to me....

- The book is not closed.. the door is widely open... In case the wind will bring me back..
-Shinlu


280935H2004

Things that I hate about the Computer Laboratories

As a Computer Science student, I am usually fun of going to the Computer Laboratories. But there are things that students hate about their School. Well, I don't hate the computers. I only hate the employees and the policy that the computer laboratory has. I understand that they are only doing their job, but what I don't understand is that what they are usually doing is not part of their jobs.

These are the reasons why I hate them.

1) It is understood that the students of the Ateneo de Zamboanga UNIVERSITY has been paying computer fees in their tuition. Why should we be logged in the system and having our accounts diminished when the teacher said we will be having a class in the computer laboratories. It is unfair because we must be logged in the system whenever we are going to the laboratories during our freetime.

2) Forgotten Passwords
- I understand that you have to pay P30 if you forgot you passwords. But if you forgot your password again, what should you do? should you still pay P30. I think one reason that students usually forgets their passwords because of the grace logins. They must give the choice to students whenever they want to change their passwords not forcing them to change their passwords. Remember that students doesn't only memorize passwords. Heller! they are students! thay have classes! they are studying! be sensitive

3) The employees are not employees.
- They are there to guide students who are experiencing problems in the computers. But whenever you approach the employees inside the cubicle, they usually bark at you like a mad dog. Are these people sensitive? They don't know that there are still people in this world that doesn't know how to use their computers. And instead of doing their job, they usually surf the net and do their own PERSONAL STUFF. Is that part of their job? For me, it is definitely NOT! It is Corruption! that is why our country is full of Corrupt people because of them! Is Chikka texting part of their job? Also, there are some rules and regulations which states that: "No Chatting" . Do you call Chikka not chatting? You also see them downloading stuff from the net. And for your information, what they are downloading are movies and mp3. which are totally against the law which falls to piracy. Is this what the School is trying to teach us? They boast their power to the student. But if you compare this people to the students, students knows more about life than just surfing and chatting the web.

These are my personal grievances against the Computer Laboratories. To those people who are struck by what i said, to argue! it is true!