After being hooked up by the prophecy of St. Fatima, my mind probably was invigorated with different thoughts. When we were young, we were told that each one of us has an angel guiding us. And that belief was probably long gone to me. Now, it's all coming back.
Well not entirely, coz my dream was about an angel being relieved in His position. that position was probably to guide. quite weird eh.
anyway, i was a bit glad to chat with my ex. I can now express clearly my deep thoughts and feelings for her. Although its too late, but i think she should know. I was devoted in to complimenting her at her acquaintance party. She was really beautiful. Which was very true. I was just sad to know that no one complimented her about how she looked that night -- even his bf. Geez.. what a lamer. How can He not notice in the first place..
I also shared about telling her about my XP in my retreat, I told her that i wrote about her. And to my surprise, she did the same way. Is this destiny? probably not. Destiny which is still blinded by God. Anyway, I know God has something up in His sleeve. Eventhough it doesn't pleases everyone it's probably for the best.
cheers, good night to all
marlon
Monday, September 04, 2006
Friday, September 01, 2006
Experience in Public Market
Anyway, in relation to my religious experience plus chrono crusade.
During lunch this day, my groupmates (me, grainne, jc, grace, carla and chy) went to public market to interview a person working there. we were tasked by our philo teacher Mr. Epino. Anyway, it's been so long that i haven't been to the place. The place where messy and crowded. I was just shocked that the person we interviewed was very sincere on what she said. Mrs soriano experience God despite the hardships in life. It was because of some miraculous experience during the past. About the strange but miracle medicine she heard for her husband and so many things.
Anyway, passing by the market made me strange, the scent of that kind of market made me realize of the level gap of the people around me there. It was sad, it made me think that Why did God make me not like them. I don't want to feel sad about them, i want to be them. I want to be poor so that i won't suffer the feeling of sympathy. This is a strange world. And Im spending a lifetime of thinking about this world.
How can I possibly say "yes" to God. I feel like i'm not God's favorite but im lucky in my life.
This is weird. I feel like im a saint. or not, i want to be someone like Jesus. But Jesus in this Century is like impossible right?
During lunch this day, my groupmates (me, grainne, jc, grace, carla and chy) went to public market to interview a person working there. we were tasked by our philo teacher Mr. Epino. Anyway, it's been so long that i haven't been to the place. The place where messy and crowded. I was just shocked that the person we interviewed was very sincere on what she said. Mrs soriano experience God despite the hardships in life. It was because of some miraculous experience during the past. About the strange but miracle medicine she heard for her husband and so many things.
Anyway, passing by the market made me strange, the scent of that kind of market made me realize of the level gap of the people around me there. It was sad, it made me think that Why did God make me not like them. I don't want to feel sad about them, i want to be them. I want to be poor so that i won't suffer the feeling of sympathy. This is a strange world. And Im spending a lifetime of thinking about this world.
How can I possibly say "yes" to God. I feel like i'm not God's favorite but im lucky in my life.
This is weird. I feel like im a saint. or not, i want to be someone like Jesus. But Jesus in this Century is like impossible right?
Chrono Crusade
A must to watch anime film. I thought i wouldn't like it but i find it very striking. The first few episodes were so much fun and amazing. I just find the last part very striking. There was this guy, father remington who eventually was an angel but in the end, he became a "sinner" or known as a fallen angel. Why did an angel did that? i don't know. But it was his penance he says. Then the other character who is the head of the Magdalan order gave up his faith. And everyone had like a turmoil in their hearts after the chaos done by the evil antagonist.
The last part when chrono and rosette was about to die made me feel so sad. This was a tragic film. The moment of their death was so perfect. I really like to cry after seeing their time running out.
The end was not the end. Aion or the evil antagonist was alive and assasinated pope john paul II. and the last message of the film was so striking that eventually made me read about St. Fatima.
Her prophecy was much like portrayed in the film. I now even know about her prophecy.
1) end of WWI
2) end of soviet communism
3) assasination of pope john paul II on october 13 1981. which was ironically the feast of St. Fatima.
I thought the ending was like a happy ending but it turned out to be not. The sudden twist of faith by the cool characters in the film makes the viewers also thinks twice about God's plan. Aion keeps telling them that God is a hypocrite and only watches from above. And in the end, the angel who torned up his wings also didn't want to ask about the Lord, he also doubts about the will of God in relation to situations of war.
Putting myself in the situation of father remington, i should probably doubt myself. But the very fact an angel which is all good to be made fallen. How can an angel fall in the first place? The only difference it would make if i was father remington was that I know that God exist and I met God. But how can he fall after meeting God? So many questions that made me think after watching the film.
Anyway, if you find yourself doing nothing in the internet, perhaps try searching the prohecy of St. Fatima. That would be worthwhile. Probably it would change your life.
cheers,
marlon
The last part when chrono and rosette was about to die made me feel so sad. This was a tragic film. The moment of their death was so perfect. I really like to cry after seeing their time running out.
The end was not the end. Aion or the evil antagonist was alive and assasinated pope john paul II. and the last message of the film was so striking that eventually made me read about St. Fatima.
Her prophecy was much like portrayed in the film. I now even know about her prophecy.
1) end of WWI
2) end of soviet communism
3) assasination of pope john paul II on october 13 1981. which was ironically the feast of St. Fatima.
I thought the ending was like a happy ending but it turned out to be not. The sudden twist of faith by the cool characters in the film makes the viewers also thinks twice about God's plan. Aion keeps telling them that God is a hypocrite and only watches from above. And in the end, the angel who torned up his wings also didn't want to ask about the Lord, he also doubts about the will of God in relation to situations of war.
Putting myself in the situation of father remington, i should probably doubt myself. But the very fact an angel which is all good to be made fallen. How can an angel fall in the first place? The only difference it would make if i was father remington was that I know that God exist and I met God. But how can he fall after meeting God? So many questions that made me think after watching the film.
Anyway, if you find yourself doing nothing in the internet, perhaps try searching the prohecy of St. Fatima. That would be worthwhile. Probably it would change your life.
cheers,
marlon
Thursday, February 09, 2006
My new blog!!
I have to edit my blog coz it takes hell of a time to load.
February 25, 2005
After the incident of stampedes and the landslides, a new
issue has been reborn "The edsa revolution." I strongly
believe that edsa was a history. Our pres. glo had taken
the president because of this and now the people who wanted
him as president uses the same technique to bring her down.
haaaizz. Those people from luzon really don't learn. Inspite
the progressive land and highly urbanized jungle, it's the
SUCKIEST place to live.
Theres a saying that "To obtain peace, you need war"
I believe that there is still hope for the filipino people.
It is to experience a warfare. anything that brings chaos.
With these, i believe that filipinos will open their eyes
and resolve to a better future. I believe this is what the
hearts of the filipino speaks.
February 14, 2005
Aha.. what a bloody heart's day! Nway,Kinda of an
experience this day. One of the worst thing that can happen
to someone this day happened to me.I learn some significant
thing this day. Kapag feeling mong gustong tumae, tae na!
hhahaha
Also, quite a day coz this is my first day to use Ubuntu!
weee congratz to me.
Also, quite a decision to make for Ex-Sec... -_-!
what do i do?
February 25, 2005
After the incident of stampedes and the landslides, a new
issue has been reborn "The edsa revolution." I strongly
believe that edsa was a history. Our pres. glo had taken
the president because of this and now the people who wanted
him as president uses the same technique to bring her down.
haaaizz. Those people from luzon really don't learn. Inspite
the progressive land and highly urbanized jungle, it's the
SUCKIEST place to live.
Theres a saying that "To obtain peace, you need war"
I believe that there is still hope for the filipino people.
It is to experience a warfare. anything that brings chaos.
With these, i believe that filipinos will open their eyes
and resolve to a better future. I believe this is what the
hearts of the filipino speaks.
February 14, 2005
Aha.. what a bloody heart's day! Nway,Kinda of an
experience this day. One of the worst thing that can happen
to someone this day happened to me.I learn some significant
thing this day. Kapag feeling mong gustong tumae, tae na!
hhahaha
Also, quite a day coz this is my first day to use Ubuntu!
weee congratz to me.
Also, quite a decision to make for Ex-Sec... -_-!
what do i do?
Sunday, January 29, 2006
"Junkyard"
Last night, by chance we happened to pass by Fonda de Sta. Maria. It was quite a crowd and their were bands playing. I just realized, that the junkyard has caught my ears since before. Not just because they are my friends but because they really play good music. I just happened to know them playing when they were at the very start. And now, they really reached a long way of staying together. I always get scared of what kinda of show they are going to put, but i noticed that whenever they play, i think they had been possess by Angels of Music. It just fits right and the crowd usually loves them. I don't know when they'll breakthrough to the top, but i know that what makes them junkyard is not their music alone, its their friendship. To the Junkyard, Life's so damn hard that we usually can give up. I salute for still striving hard to achieve an almost impossible dream.
cheers to all
mossad
cheers to all
mossad
Friday, January 27, 2006
Wishing Mermaids
I was inspired watching this movie about 3 mermaids. These mermaids were seeking revenge for their father's death against a greedy sea poucher. Each mermaid had a unique ability, one has strength, foresight, and seducing charmed. But what about these mermaids? how do they interest me?
First, i really love the blue sea. It has uncharted lands that only marine creatures can only travel. Plus, did you know that these merfolk creatures has a gift of beauty? haha..
As the movie progresses, they say that legend has it that men who sees a mermaid can ask for 1 wish. This wish is bound by magic and must be done by the beauties. As for me, who would not want a beautiful creature that may grant yer wish come true and may lead you to paradise were nobody has ever seen. Now that is romantic. Good riddance for the world? HAH! How i wish....
First, i really love the blue sea. It has uncharted lands that only marine creatures can only travel. Plus, did you know that these merfolk creatures has a gift of beauty? haha..
As the movie progresses, they say that legend has it that men who sees a mermaid can ask for 1 wish. This wish is bound by magic and must be done by the beauties. As for me, who would not want a beautiful creature that may grant yer wish come true and may lead you to paradise were nobody has ever seen. Now that is romantic. Good riddance for the world? HAH! How i wish....
Friday, January 06, 2006
Great Lines from Dogma
All that tension, all that anger and mistrust, forgotten for one perfect moment when they come off that plane. See those two? The guy doesn't even know that the girl cheated on him while he was away.
Uh-huh. Twice. But it doesn't matter at this moment because they're both so relieved to be with one another. I like that. I just wish they could all feel that way more often.
No married man kisses his wife like that. You get married and the passion dies, man. Don't you everwatch talk shows?
A guy makes his best plays when wooing. When the object of his desire is won, there's no need to expend the effort anymore. He relaxes, satisfied with the spoils of victory, which he then decides isn't so victorious because he's saddled with a life-mate.
That's the problem - romance. You think about it: back in the old days, nobody got married out of quote, unquote, love. People married for property, dowries, or to procreate - to immortalize oneself through offspring. When did all this love stuff start? What the hell happened to the status quo?
I'm pissed is what I am. You go around drenching everyone that comes into your room with flame-retardant chemicals? No wonder you don't get laid.
What's he like? God?.... Lonely. But funny. He's got a great sense of humor.
Look at sex. Sex is funny. One time I asked him why you people had to look so stupid while procreating. He said if you didn't, you'd do it all the time, just for fun..
I know. And you all look so damn stupid doing it. It kills us upstairs.
Death is a worry of the living. The dead only worry about decay and necrophiliacs.
You know what the dead do with most of their time? They watch the living. Especially in the shower.
What, these? You should know better than anyone
at this table that tits don't make a woman.
Aside from an intuitive knack for accessorizing,
what traditionally defines a woman falls between
two things : her legs. But as you can see...
BETHANY
(stunned)
God is a woman...
SERENDIPITY
I don't know what the big surprise is - women are the only gender that can create life, just like God created the universe. Who else but a mother could have the infinite patience with impudent children that God has with humanity. A woman can
give birth to and nurture both sexes, so psychologists theorize that women are the only gender both sexes can feel completely comfortable with; and the faithful - both male and female - feel at ease with God. In time of trial, our first instinct is
to implore the aid of the Almighty, just as when you're a child, the only person who can make it
In the beginning, it was just us and Him. Angels and God. And then He created the humans. And He gave them more than He ever gave us. Ours was designed to be a life of servitude and worship - adoration. But He gave the humans more - He gave
them a choice. They can choose to ignore God, choose to acknowledge Him. All this time we've been down here, everyday I felt the absence of the Divine presence. And it pained me... as I'm sure it must have pained you sometimes, even though you'd gloss over it with jokes. But we feel his absence, and why? Because of the way He made us - as servants. Had we been given free will, we could ignore the pain... like them.
Loki, don't you get it? It's the humans - it's always the humans. They were given paradise; they threw it away. They were given this planet; they
destroyed it. They were favored best among all His endeavors; and some of them don't even believe He exists. Their ego-mania corroded Hell and made it dark and crimson.
(looks at Loki)
I asked you to lay down your sword years ago - why? Because I felt sorry for them. And where did it get us? Thrown out. (smiles) We've paid our debt. Don't you think it's time we went home? And to d o that, I think we have to dispatch our would-be dispatchers.
I'm afraid so. One of the drawbacks to being a martyr is that you have to die. But no matter - all is being taken care of.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
My First Date with KGB
Asking her Out.. The 15 minutes conversation
November 28 2005
The day has finally come to gather all my courageous energy and talk with a long long crush of mine. It was a normal morning and i decided to talk to KGB as for start of some beginning. The whole day was more like a bunch of imaginations and not advisable ideas. A friend of mine RJ tagged along with me in the Ateneo Fiesta. I was looking for KGB and whenever i felt her presence, i get petrified and disappear in the busy streets of Ateneo. It was more of torpe day for me.
8:15 PM
Finally, the time came when she was all alone with my very adorable friend "Fe." I followed them and kinda of intentioned accident of interception. KGB went into the toilet and Fe was left outside. I approached Fe and it was pretty obvious that I was going to talk with KGB that moment. The moment came when she left the toilet and went to Fe. I was hidden from KGB's sight until she reaches 1 meter away from Fe. I was hidden in the hallway's thick post. I was bowing down looking at the narrowed hallway between NCB and College building. I was looking in the different direction but I was concerned of the girl in red approaching Fe. She was so shocked when she saw me inches away from them. Fe told me to say "hi" but i blew it away by saying "Hi...! Shit! ang torpe ko talga!!" They laughed and we walked along the hallway of the College building. Usap kame while walking. The hallway was like 40-50 meters long. In that part, I asked her out to watch Harry potter 4 which was 1% of my intention of that day. She said a big ............. "Yes" then i was so shocked! omg! wth? she's going out with me? She asked "when?" and i replied "tomorrow, 12:30PM... kung ok lang mga 11:30AM para isabay na ang lunch." She paused for a while and thought about it. Time like was so slow that i could see her lips instead of hearing her saying "yes." Yea, time really stops that moment, but big fish was right, after that, time really was like fastforwarding.
KGB and I were completely strangers before this moment. We knew a lil bit of each other through text but it was the first conversation. It was more of a 5 minute "first" conversation plus asking her out. A miracle of "yes!" was the answer. I,being so amused by what had happened, I gave some appointment on the next day knowing that i had some job to do at that time.. LOL!!! For a minute there, I forgot i had a LAN party to fix!! Bedtime came and i couldnt sleep. I thought about so much stuff about the next day and it reached me till 3:30 AM; I wokeup at 6 AM. The date plus the party really blew my mind during that time.
November 29 2005
"The Date"
The date was carefully analyzed by me and my friend marc.
Plan A
KGB would go alone and date with me only. a 1-1 conversation the entire date.
Plan B
KGB would bring a friend along since im a total stranger to him. More harder to talk to KGB because of her friend coming along. Her friend would have to be treated in lunch to came and the movie house. meaning, More expenses.
During lunch:
KGB will be shy in ordering so im advised to decide on what to order.
11:20 AM:
I texted KGB where she is currently. She replied and said "in the jeepney"
11:30 AM:
I bought a simpe red rose worth Php 25.00 )just something to give that day) and put inside my bag.
11:40 AM:
I stayed near the gate in case I saw her. When she came, I went out, cross the street. She crossed the street and then i crossed the street again. She didnt saw me in that case. I talked to her and said with confidence "hi!" Sabi nya: "OK lang ba kung hanapin ko muna kasama ko?" sabi ko: "hmmm... ok!" We went inside the school and i told myself that this would be the hard Plan B.
She went to the Scholarship's booth and looked for some of her friends. She couldnt find any of them and then she said: "Whatever! ako na lang!" Her friends didnt want to come along just to tease her.
11:45 AM:
We went off to Mindpro. It was bright and hot weather. But my eyes were more dazzled by the beauty of the lady im dating. She was blooming like a hana during its season. She was So so so way beautiful than I imagined. We walked so fast but deep in my mind was like a bullet time. She has this long shiny her and cutey smile. As we crossed from Mc do to mindpro, i asked her: "Im still wondering why you said yes kagabi.." She said something i cant hear because of the loud traffic. We were around 7 meters. when...
------------------------> Embarrassing moments <---------------------------
A gay happends to pass by and said to me. "Ang gwapo mo!!" Sabi ko "Thank you!"
KGB laughed by herself as that happend. Gosh! deep in my mind said, OMG!! ano to? ngayon pa talga?
To let myself out of shame, i told her na parati naming naXXP ni marc duran nung HS kame. I was passing the shame to my friend Marc!! ROFL!!!. sorry marc.. peace :D
------------------------> Embarrassing moments <---------------------------
At last.. i felt breeze of the cold air from the mall. we reached the entrance and i open my bag for check-up. The Security guard had this good natured smile aimed to me because he saw the rose inside my bag. I smiled back and said: "thank you nong!"
(oh yeah!! What a relief! first the gay then here comes the guard teasing me)
11:50-12:00
I decided mag-greenwich na lang coz alam ko di sia makadecide. I asked her what she likes to eat. sabi nya: "kahit ano na lang.. kaw na bahala.." sabi ko: "ok.. isang chicken w/ rice plus caffe latte... ok ba yon?" sabi nya: " umm... umm... yong hindi masyado heavy.." i said: " ok .. ( i was suggesting other kinds of orders).... ok na ba yon?" she said: " hmmm....(she looks like she doesnt know what she wants) kaw na bahala.." I said: " ok 1 chicken w/ rice plus caffe latte." She left and looked for vacant tables. The chicken was fast but we have to wait for the latte for 5 mins. I served the chicken tapos we were about to eat. Sabi ko: "Nagdadasal ka ba?" she said: "yea.. (blah blah.. i cant remember what she said)" She stood up and went to wash her hands. As she stood up her hanky fell unknowingly, some stranger said: "yong handky nahulog" i picked it up and placed it near my seat. Di nya namalayan yon. While washing, i went to get the latte. We went back, i returned her handky.. sabi ko: "handky mo oh.. nahulog" sabi nya: "oh.. ty" sabi ko: "parang scripted noh" sabi nya: " yea.. parang scripted (jokingly)... " (why the hell did i said that????)
12:00-12:40 Approximately
The next part were conversations about her.. likes, dislikes, family and etc..
A summary of some important conversation w/c may lead to my destiny of our relationship. I asked her about some XPs in the past in love life and she usually say things w/c i dont understand. She dont want to share it but this is what i get from the tiny details.
"In her high school days, she was confused in relationships. Boys would end up a slap on their faces when they court her. She usually sends this negative signals w/c lowers the morale of the boys and leave her alone forever."
Pretty cool ha? quite a sadists i say.. (she agreed).. i laughed at this details but i know this is quite true to her personality.
12:40 onwards.
We went to the movie and I was pretty silent.
------------------------------------> Guilty moments <---------------------------
(I already watched HP4.) She said she was goint to the toilet and i wanted to escort her out. She said: "Its ok.. wag na.. ako na lang.." Deep inside of my heart was the desire to escort her but i failed. I kinda think that she'll ran away and nvr return.. lol.. but she went back!! yea!.. the point is. I felt guilty by not becoming a gentlemen.. (morality from father moga.. bwahaha))
------------------------------------> Embarrassing moments <------------------------
HP was near ending when suddenly a familiar voice was clinging into my ear. I suddenly felt that my mother was behind our seat w/ my sister. i said to myself: OMG!!!!!!!!! WTH should i do?. I slowly told her that my mom was at the back. She asked if my mom knows and i said NO. I knew that time i made her insecure considering it was a first date. I was thinking of some best actions not to make her fully insecure. When HP was finished, she wanted to go out already and doesnt want to watch the start again.. My mom and my sis, existed the rows going left to find other good seats and we existed to the right.. Thank God it was dark!!!
We left and she went to the toilet. I saw my cousin ricky and saw we were together.. i said: "My date!" i think i made her more insecure by that.. oh well.. it was better to go out of the movies now.
When we were going to school, i asked her if she can date me again. She was more of a state of shock and doesnt want to reply either "yes", "no" or "ewan" .. she said next next next year.. i didnt want to expound on that but i knew it was time to depart..
oh well.. tats the end of my story.. someone proofread this.. grammatical errors are rampant ...
typed in :12:00AM - 2:26 AM of November 30, 2005
I couldnt sleep!!
*Edited: 11:16PM of March 8 2006
November 28 2005
The day has finally come to gather all my courageous energy and talk with a long long crush of mine. It was a normal morning and i decided to talk to KGB as for start of some beginning. The whole day was more like a bunch of imaginations and not advisable ideas. A friend of mine RJ tagged along with me in the Ateneo Fiesta. I was looking for KGB and whenever i felt her presence, i get petrified and disappear in the busy streets of Ateneo. It was more of torpe day for me.
8:15 PM
Finally, the time came when she was all alone with my very adorable friend "Fe." I followed them and kinda of intentioned accident of interception. KGB went into the toilet and Fe was left outside. I approached Fe and it was pretty obvious that I was going to talk with KGB that moment. The moment came when she left the toilet and went to Fe. I was hidden from KGB's sight until she reaches 1 meter away from Fe. I was hidden in the hallway's thick post. I was bowing down looking at the narrowed hallway between NCB and College building. I was looking in the different direction but I was concerned of the girl in red approaching Fe. She was so shocked when she saw me inches away from them. Fe told me to say "hi" but i blew it away by saying "Hi...! Shit! ang torpe ko talga!!" They laughed and we walked along the hallway of the College building. Usap kame while walking. The hallway was like 40-50 meters long. In that part, I asked her out to watch Harry potter 4 which was 1% of my intention of that day. She said a big ............. "Yes" then i was so shocked! omg! wth? she's going out with me? She asked "when?" and i replied "tomorrow, 12:30PM... kung ok lang mga 11:30AM para isabay na ang lunch." She paused for a while and thought about it. Time like was so slow that i could see her lips instead of hearing her saying "yes." Yea, time really stops that moment, but big fish was right, after that, time really was like fastforwarding.
KGB and I were completely strangers before this moment. We knew a lil bit of each other through text but it was the first conversation. It was more of a 5 minute "first" conversation plus asking her out. A miracle of "yes!" was the answer. I,being so amused by what had happened, I gave some appointment on the next day knowing that i had some job to do at that time.. LOL!!! For a minute there, I forgot i had a LAN party to fix!! Bedtime came and i couldnt sleep. I thought about so much stuff about the next day and it reached me till 3:30 AM; I wokeup at 6 AM. The date plus the party really blew my mind during that time.
November 29 2005
"The Date"
The date was carefully analyzed by me and my friend marc.
Plan A
KGB would go alone and date with me only. a 1-1 conversation the entire date.
Plan B
KGB would bring a friend along since im a total stranger to him. More harder to talk to KGB because of her friend coming along. Her friend would have to be treated in lunch to came and the movie house. meaning, More expenses.
During lunch:
KGB will be shy in ordering so im advised to decide on what to order.
11:20 AM:
I texted KGB where she is currently. She replied and said "in the jeepney"
11:30 AM:
I bought a simpe red rose worth Php 25.00 )just something to give that day) and put inside my bag.
11:40 AM:
I stayed near the gate in case I saw her. When she came, I went out, cross the street. She crossed the street and then i crossed the street again. She didnt saw me in that case. I talked to her and said with confidence "hi!" Sabi nya: "OK lang ba kung hanapin ko muna kasama ko?" sabi ko: "hmmm... ok!" We went inside the school and i told myself that this would be the hard Plan B.
She went to the Scholarship's booth and looked for some of her friends. She couldnt find any of them and then she said: "Whatever! ako na lang!" Her friends didnt want to come along just to tease her.
11:45 AM:
We went off to Mindpro. It was bright and hot weather. But my eyes were more dazzled by the beauty of the lady im dating. She was blooming like a hana during its season. She was So so so way beautiful than I imagined. We walked so fast but deep in my mind was like a bullet time. She has this long shiny her and cutey smile. As we crossed from Mc do to mindpro, i asked her: "Im still wondering why you said yes kagabi.." She said something i cant hear because of the loud traffic. We were around 7 meters. when...
------------------------> Embarrassing moments <---------------------------
A gay happends to pass by and said to me. "Ang gwapo mo!!" Sabi ko "Thank you!"
KGB laughed by herself as that happend. Gosh! deep in my mind said, OMG!! ano to? ngayon pa talga?
To let myself out of shame, i told her na parati naming naXXP ni marc duran nung HS kame. I was passing the shame to my friend Marc!! ROFL!!!. sorry marc.. peace :D
------------------------> Embarrassing moments <---------------------------
At last.. i felt breeze of the cold air from the mall. we reached the entrance and i open my bag for check-up. The Security guard had this good natured smile aimed to me because he saw the rose inside my bag. I smiled back and said: "thank you nong!"
(oh yeah!! What a relief! first the gay then here comes the guard teasing me)
11:50-12:00
I decided mag-greenwich na lang coz alam ko di sia makadecide. I asked her what she likes to eat. sabi nya: "kahit ano na lang.. kaw na bahala.." sabi ko: "ok.. isang chicken w/ rice plus caffe latte... ok ba yon?" sabi nya: " umm... umm... yong hindi masyado heavy.." i said: " ok .. ( i was suggesting other kinds of orders).... ok na ba yon?" she said: " hmmm....(she looks like she doesnt know what she wants) kaw na bahala.." I said: " ok 1 chicken w/ rice plus caffe latte." She left and looked for vacant tables. The chicken was fast but we have to wait for the latte for 5 mins. I served the chicken tapos we were about to eat. Sabi ko: "Nagdadasal ka ba?" she said: "yea.. (blah blah.. i cant remember what she said)" She stood up and went to wash her hands. As she stood up her hanky fell unknowingly, some stranger said: "yong handky nahulog" i picked it up and placed it near my seat. Di nya namalayan yon. While washing, i went to get the latte. We went back, i returned her handky.. sabi ko: "handky mo oh.. nahulog" sabi nya: "oh.. ty" sabi ko: "parang scripted noh" sabi nya: " yea.. parang scripted (jokingly)... " (why the hell did i said that????)
12:00-12:40 Approximately
The next part were conversations about her.. likes, dislikes, family and etc..
A summary of some important conversation w/c may lead to my destiny of our relationship. I asked her about some XPs in the past in love life and she usually say things w/c i dont understand. She dont want to share it but this is what i get from the tiny details.
"In her high school days, she was confused in relationships. Boys would end up a slap on their faces when they court her. She usually sends this negative signals w/c lowers the morale of the boys and leave her alone forever."
Pretty cool ha? quite a sadists i say.. (she agreed).. i laughed at this details but i know this is quite true to her personality.
12:40 onwards.
We went to the movie and I was pretty silent.
------------------------------------> Guilty moments <---------------------------
(I already watched HP4.) She said she was goint to the toilet and i wanted to escort her out. She said: "Its ok.. wag na.. ako na lang.." Deep inside of my heart was the desire to escort her but i failed. I kinda think that she'll ran away and nvr return.. lol.. but she went back!! yea!.. the point is. I felt guilty by not becoming a gentlemen.. (morality from father moga.. bwahaha))
------------------------------------> Embarrassing moments <------------------------
HP was near ending when suddenly a familiar voice was clinging into my ear. I suddenly felt that my mother was behind our seat w/ my sister. i said to myself: OMG!!!!!!!!! WTH should i do?. I slowly told her that my mom was at the back. She asked if my mom knows and i said NO. I knew that time i made her insecure considering it was a first date. I was thinking of some best actions not to make her fully insecure. When HP was finished, she wanted to go out already and doesnt want to watch the start again.. My mom and my sis, existed the rows going left to find other good seats and we existed to the right.. Thank God it was dark!!!
We left and she went to the toilet. I saw my cousin ricky and saw we were together.. i said: "My date!" i think i made her more insecure by that.. oh well.. it was better to go out of the movies now.
When we were going to school, i asked her if she can date me again. She was more of a state of shock and doesnt want to reply either "yes", "no" or "ewan" .. she said next next next year.. i didnt want to expound on that but i knew it was time to depart..
oh well.. tats the end of my story.. someone proofread this.. grammatical errors are rampant ...
typed in :12:00AM - 2:26 AM of November 30, 2005
I couldnt sleep!!
*Edited: 11:16PM of March 8 2006
Monday, January 24, 2005
Dilemma: Idealism and Reality... Betrayal.
When I was young, my parents mold me to be someone who is righteous and ideal. I seemed so heroic and I carried the teachings of being a Filipino. And my parents made me this way and that is who I am.
Over this college years i seemed to gotten of the issue that we are in a reality. My parents always say that i should have been a nurse, but i simply dont like blood. No, it isnt blood that i feared in that course. It is was the not liking for me to survive in this world which aims money. I hate it! i always hate it! i always hate it when my parents talk about money. I spent money but i am thrifty. I can give all the money i have. I don't treasure money. I hate people who treasure money. I hate them. I hate my parents. Because of money, everything changed. When we have less money, we had a very happy life. I wish we never had much. I wish I could turn back time when we were so happy.
why cant my stubborn parents accept the path I chose? why do they interfere with my life with false hope? why are many people discouraging me to have my own dreams? why are my parents those people!? i hate them! i have been a silent type, and silent rivers run deep. I LOATHE them! Why can't they let me dream like when they let my bro to the PMA? Why? they really are stupid people. They are killing the youth's dream of becoming someone who is impossible. Before I can dream of being a super hero, now whenever i dream of becoming even a successful person, they don't believe. I'll show them. They really don't understand. I am slowly suffering from psychological and emotional problems. They don't know. Because they really don't see it.
Hope someday we can really live a happy family.
P.S. I HATE the nursing course like I hate them.
We Filipinos lack pride for our country. Pride for our country and future is right. Not pride for ourselves which most have. No matter what it takes, i think I can serve my country by following my dreams. Someday, ill prove to them that what they are thinking is wrong. They are too much eaten by society and i believe i just have to save them from this world.
Over this college years i seemed to gotten of the issue that we are in a reality. My parents always say that i should have been a nurse, but i simply dont like blood. No, it isnt blood that i feared in that course. It is was the not liking for me to survive in this world which aims money. I hate it! i always hate it! i always hate it when my parents talk about money. I spent money but i am thrifty. I can give all the money i have. I don't treasure money. I hate people who treasure money. I hate them. I hate my parents. Because of money, everything changed. When we have less money, we had a very happy life. I wish we never had much. I wish I could turn back time when we were so happy.
why cant my stubborn parents accept the path I chose? why do they interfere with my life with false hope? why are many people discouraging me to have my own dreams? why are my parents those people!? i hate them! i have been a silent type, and silent rivers run deep. I LOATHE them! Why can't they let me dream like when they let my bro to the PMA? Why? they really are stupid people. They are killing the youth's dream of becoming someone who is impossible. Before I can dream of being a super hero, now whenever i dream of becoming even a successful person, they don't believe. I'll show them. They really don't understand. I am slowly suffering from psychological and emotional problems. They don't know. Because they really don't see it.
Hope someday we can really live a happy family.
P.S. I HATE the nursing course like I hate them.
We Filipinos lack pride for our country. Pride for our country and future is right. Not pride for ourselves which most have. No matter what it takes, i think I can serve my country by following my dreams. Someday, ill prove to them that what they are thinking is wrong. They are too much eaten by society and i believe i just have to save them from this world.
Monday, January 03, 2005
New Year's Solution?
It is now a prosperous new year. But it is sad to hear about the tidal wave in the southeast asia region. 150000 is a big number. i can't imagine if it were my country, perhaps i would have died too.
Well, I thought new year was full of solution but it is somehow the opposite. right now, i am torn with two choices, to be content in my life or go to a place "No man's land." Thinking of it makes me sick. I still don't know if i can decide my future. This choice i will make will determine who i am in the future. Will I be the courageous one? or Will I be the silent man? People say that there will come in life that a person will choose to who he will be in the future. I think, right now, i am in the middle of the crossroad. will i turn back? or will I choose the content and simple life? or will I choose to know what is "life."
Many are called, but few are chosen.
God, help me to find who I really am. Let me find what I must be in your will.
Well, I thought new year was full of solution but it is somehow the opposite. right now, i am torn with two choices, to be content in my life or go to a place "No man's land." Thinking of it makes me sick. I still don't know if i can decide my future. This choice i will make will determine who i am in the future. Will I be the courageous one? or Will I be the silent man? People say that there will come in life that a person will choose to who he will be in the future. I think, right now, i am in the middle of the crossroad. will i turn back? or will I choose the content and simple life? or will I choose to know what is "life."
Many are called, but few are chosen.
God, help me to find who I really am. Let me find what I must be in your will.
Thursday, December 09, 2004
Long Lost Friend
During my vacation going for third year highschool, the most difficult year that in my school will ever experience, I met someone through the phone. She has this soft and sincere voice that made you feel so comfortable and so warmth. It was not her voice that was trully amusing but her personality. She was completely fantastic! I usually don't get phonepals or friend someone through the phone but the when she called for the very first time in May, I felt the urge of knowing that person more. We then continued our chat for around 3-5 months. I didn't see her or "eyeball" or something. But One friend of mine said that she was completely beautiful. I don't know if il believe it but there was a time that my older brother have somehow met her in a shopping store. My brother said that she was beautiful. When I ask my phonepal if she was at that store, she said yes. It was great. But, somehow there were still misunderstandings. In the end, somehow I misunderstood her and thought some selfish things. I ended the phonepal thing and I haven't heard anything from her ever since. The last thing I knew was she went to Baguio.
Somehow, I believe that we will meet someday. She's out there somewhere. And If ever I will have the chance meet her, I'll have to say that Im so thankful for meeting her. It was one of a heaven experience..... A long lost friend.
Somehow, I believe that we will meet someday. She's out there somewhere. And If ever I will have the chance meet her, I'll have to say that Im so thankful for meeting her. It was one of a heaven experience..... A long lost friend.
Friday, October 08, 2004
10 Things I want to do before I die!!
10.) go to bermuda triangle
9.) make love
8.) build a telescope
7.) have an earring
6.) plant many roses
5.) be a master of flash
4.) be linguistic in computer languages.
3.) kiss a girl
2.) Fall in love or have a relationship
1.) be a hero before 40 Years old.
9.) make love
8.) build a telescope
7.) have an earring
6.) plant many roses
5.) be a master of flash
4.) be linguistic in computer languages.
3.) kiss a girl
2.) Fall in love or have a relationship
1.) be a hero before 40 Years old.
Saturday, October 02, 2004
Everything has changed... When I entered college... everything changed... the people I used to know were different people. I think college is the time were you realized some spice of life. Why did everything happened so fast? I remember the things I left were just in a stationary place, but when I looked back, everything is gone. Right now, everything is a test. This is a time were I have to exert effort to survive. This is the time were everyone gets serious. Right now, I am in the storm. Everything Is a disaster. I hope that when I can make through this storm. This will make me a better man. Everything is at stake, pride, love and life. I have given up my love for her to survive, i have given pride for my bests friends to be happy and now i have to give up life for everyone around me.
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
Memories, I remember them... Forever Cherished
It has been one year and two days that a very unforgettable moments suddenly was put into my diary of experience. A traumatic feeling was felt during that time. I remembered that it was a special evening. We were having fun with my new friends or barkadas that night. When suddenly, I received a letter from someone. That letter was a menace. I knew it was something bad, something that I could be never forgetten in the future. I knew that it would have a deep impact in my life and make me stumble down every stairs in my life. I knew what was in the letter before I opened it. That letter, those simple words changed the course of my life. I knew, that It would be the end of me and the girl I thought for my life. I knew this girl were having second thoughts, because of a new good looking guy in town started courting her. I can't imagine that a girl like her would sacrifice our 3 years of happy and glorious relationship with a 1 month guy courting her. I thought it was that guy.
Three weeks later, the girl answered the guy. It just proves that what she said in the letter that time was all useless. Just a waste of perfectly writing and a good ink. It was obviously their fault. About six months later they broke up.
In the past, It thought that the girl which was so special to me will be the most perfect gift in my life. I always thought... it was better because I didn't believe. Well, I thank God for losing her. Because if i didn't I would have not gone this far.. this blogsite. I was blinded when I was with her. Now, what I see in my life is vivid. I loved that girl! but sometimes... maybe they just have to go. In my case, I didn't let go. I just made time solve it all. I knew, that girl was never meant to me....
- The book is not closed.. the door is widely open... In case the wind will bring me back..
-Shinlu
280935H2004
Three weeks later, the girl answered the guy. It just proves that what she said in the letter that time was all useless. Just a waste of perfectly writing and a good ink. It was obviously their fault. About six months later they broke up.
In the past, It thought that the girl which was so special to me will be the most perfect gift in my life. I always thought... it was better because I didn't believe. Well, I thank God for losing her. Because if i didn't I would have not gone this far.. this blogsite. I was blinded when I was with her. Now, what I see in my life is vivid. I loved that girl! but sometimes... maybe they just have to go. In my case, I didn't let go. I just made time solve it all. I knew, that girl was never meant to me....
- The book is not closed.. the door is widely open... In case the wind will bring me back..
-Shinlu
280935H2004
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
Things that I hate about the Computer Laboratories
As a Computer Science student, I am usually fun of going to the Computer Laboratories. But there are things that students hate about their School. Well, I don't hate the computers. I only hate the employees and the policy that the computer laboratory has. I understand that they are only doing their job, but what I don't understand is that what they are usually doing is not part of their jobs.
These are the reasons why I hate them.
1) It is understood that the students of the Ateneo de Zamboanga UNIVERSITY has been paying computer fees in their tuition. Why should we be logged in the system and having our accounts diminished when the teacher said we will be having a class in the computer laboratories. It is unfair because we must be logged in the system whenever we are going to the laboratories during our freetime.
2) Forgotten Passwords
- I understand that you have to pay P30 if you forgot you passwords. But if you forgot your password again, what should you do? should you still pay P30. I think one reason that students usually forgets their passwords because of the grace logins. They must give the choice to students whenever they want to change their passwords not forcing them to change their passwords. Remember that students doesn't only memorize passwords. Heller! they are students! thay have classes! they are studying! be sensitive
These are the reasons why I hate them.
1) It is understood that the students of the Ateneo de Zamboanga UNIVERSITY has been paying computer fees in their tuition. Why should we be logged in the system and having our accounts diminished when the teacher said we will be having a class in the computer laboratories. It is unfair because we must be logged in the system whenever we are going to the laboratories during our freetime.
2) Forgotten Passwords
- I understand that you have to pay P30 if you forgot you passwords. But if you forgot your password again, what should you do? should you still pay P30. I think one reason that students usually forgets their passwords because of the grace logins. They must give the choice to students whenever they want to change their passwords not forcing them to change their passwords. Remember that students doesn't only memorize passwords. Heller! they are students! thay have classes! they are studying! be sensitive
3) The employees are not employees.
- They are there to guide students who are experiencing problems in the computers. But whenever you approach the employees inside the cubicle, they usually bark at you like a mad dog. Are these people sensitive? They don't know that there are still people in this world that doesn't know how to use their computers. And instead of doing their job, they usually surf the net and do their own PERSONAL STUFF. Is that part of their job? For me, it is definitely NOT! It is Corruption! that is why our country is full of Corrupt people because of them! Is Chikka texting part of their job? Also, there are some rules and regulations which states that: "No Chatting" . Do you call Chikka not chatting? You also see them downloading stuff from the net. And for your information, what they are downloading are movies and mp3. which are totally against the law which falls to piracy. Is this what the School is trying to teach us? They boast their power to the student. But if you compare this people to the students, students knows more about life than just surfing and chatting the web.
These are my personal grievances against the Computer Laboratories. To those people who are struck by what i said, to argue! it is true!
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